Week one is over. Only like... thirty-nine left? I don't know. I don't care. I just can't wait to get out of here. Just one more year... I can make it, right?
I struggle with my locker combination one-handed, my other occupied by several textbooks.
7...3...4...
"Yan."
It's Christian. He seems dramatic.
"What?"
"It's... it's the thirteenth day."
He's still counting the days since Oliv dumped him, dear God. "Chris, you need to get over it. You're never going to if--"
"Wanna go get drunk at the Shed?"
I feel like this isn't really a request. What Chris really means is, we're getting drunk at the Shed. Now.
The Shed is a 'building' way over on the other side of the football field that used to be a study room. It's not permitted, but after school hours, no one gives a shit who goes near it.
I shove my books in my locker and grab my cigarettes, sighing, matching his dramaticness. "Oh well, I suppose we can."
He smiles, flipping his long purple hair to the side. "You babe."
I roll my eyes, but a smile of affection dances on my lips. Platonic affection, of course. Shutting my locker, I turn down the hall. Christian is saying something but I miss it. I spot Winter a few metres away, fiddling inside his locker, and I'm immediately distracted. He doesn't see me, but I glare at him regardless.
"Dude, are you even listening?"
"Huh?" I turn my face to Chris, but I can't take my eyes off Winter. He's got his hair in a ponytail today. It sort of... reflects the light perfectly as it shudders with his movements. I hate him.
"What is your problem?"
Chris doesn't know. He's been pretty wrapped up in his own life, understandably, so he wouldn't know anyway. Not that I'd ever tell him what happened between us over summer anyway. To be honest, he probably wouldn't even believe me.
"Nothing, I just don't like him very much."
He looks at me, with that classic Like I Believe You look that he's perfected over the years, raising his perfectly arched eyebrows, narrowing his equally perfectly Kohl-lined eyes, teaming with a sarcastic "right."
As we move down the hall, closer to Winter, I make a point of bumping into him.
"Oops," I say sarcastically. I'm hoping he'll glare back at me.
But he doesn't. He looks at me like an injured puppy, and I immediately feel terrible.
Why did I do that? Why should I even hate him? He's too beautiful, that's what it is. He makes me feel things that I shouldn't feel; things that I know Allan and Satou wouldn't be cool with.
They're my boyfriends... but they both went off to college and I haven't really heard a lot from them since they left, other than the odd text here and there. Maybe that's why the Thing happened. I was just lonely over summer, that's all... That's gotta be why.
I've not said a word since we left the building. Chris has been rambling on about Oliv, but I guess he doesn't really mind that I'm probably not listening. He just needs to get the words out, which I understand. But I don't really know what I'm supposed to say when he asks "Know what I mean?" because I don't. I don't know what it's like to be so heartbroken that all you can think about is the person who did it to you, wishing so hard that you could somehow change their mind, actually being so deluded that you think you can change their mind. The only reason I think Christian is so hurt is because Oliv was his First, and he's afraid to move on. But I can't say that to him because it would only upset him more. I think maybe Oliv should tell him that, but Oliv doesn't care enough. He doesn't care how much Chris is suffering right now.
We're behind the Shed now, sitting on the steps by the back door, and Chris is rummaging in his Naruto backpack for his half bottle of Jack Daniels. I haven't brought anything, but just as I'm hoping he has intentions to share, he passes it to me, offering the first sip.
I tilt my head right back, taking in a mouthful of the tangy liquid. It seeps down my throat and I savour the strong taste, passing the bottle back to Christian.
"Can I stay at your place tonight?" he asks before taking his first swig. He winces a little as he swallows.
"Yeah, my parents aren't in, anyway. They left me steaks."
Just Chris raises his eyebrows in approval, we hear a loud bang come from the inside of the Shed.
"Shit shit shit," we both whisper quietly, rushing to hide the alcohol.
"The fuck was that?" I say under my breath. Chris looks at me in panic. No one ever comes to check the Shed.
And then we hear a quiet moan. It's not decipherable between pain or pleasure. We both crawl over to the window and peek in to find out.
Inside the dilapidated cabin, on an old desk, is Andrei - a boy a year above us who is basically the school "bike" - and his legs are wrapped around...
It's Winter.
Andrei and Winter are making out on the desk.
I immediately feel sick, but I can't let it show. Chris can't find out.
"Oh... my... God..." Chris whispers, a hint of excitement in his voice.
Their hands are all over each other; Winter's pale hands are stroking Andrei's red curls and the latter pulls the former's hips closer to his, fumbling frantically with the belt buckle.
I can't watch this anymore.
Chris is struggling to get his phone out of his tight jean's pocket so he can take a video as I turn and sit back on the steps, grabbing the bottle from Chris' bag. I take a large mouthful and gulp it down.
I'm jealous. I'm so jealous.
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